A little old. RE: this title thingy

Before I decided to begin baring parts of myself to the wide and unknown public (hey, it's a possibility, people), I had to decide on one very important thing:  my persona. 

This is not an easy task because I love my family, I hate offending people, and my favorite word is "fuck."

Seriously, I have a great argument defending its appearance in my everyday language.  I now proudly own a Minor in English and I can use it to say that I endorse "fuck" and all of its affiliates.

And, words are words.  I don't poke you with sticks or throw rocks at you.  You'll recover from hearing them.  You know what you won't recover from?  A busted ass sense of humor.  We should all be able to laugh at ourselves because who deserves a hearty, ridiculing guffaw more than contradictory, self-serving humans!?

And I am currently writing this because I learned the other day that my Granny said she is not going to read this.  (Attention, Granny!  In case you are reading this, see?  It's not that bad.  I'm still funny, and I still love you as much as I did when I began saying "fuck" when I was about 8 years old.)

(I also like that putting "fuck" in quotation marks makes it even more noticeable, isn't that cute?)

So Granny told my mom she wasn't going to read this because of my warnings, which is the reason I put those warnings there.  Those warnings were covering my ass, or telling people they have no right to bitch at me if they're offended because they shouldn't be admitting they read it in the first place ;)  Just go do a few Hail Marys and come back next week.

Sidebar:  I have no idea where I get all of my Catholic references.  I've never even been to mass.  Or, is it Mass?  That's a weird word.  Say it a few times.  You sound like an evil scientist.

Now, I don't mind if my Granny reads this.  I'm sure she's seen her share of dirty words and jokes about masturbation in her day.  But if she doesn't want to see it from me, that's up to her and I'm fine with her choice to avoid it.  No matter what my art is, I always know she will be one of my biggest fans.

So, Stephanie, what about the children?  That's an easy one.  See:  Robin Williams, Steve Martin, Bob Saget (?). 

So anyway, after many thoughts, I had decided to go ahead and start this thing.  The blog and the videos.  It's a slow start, but it's a start.  I figured I should just be myself.  Say what I think and feel and not worry about it.  I think I've still been holding back, but it will get easier.  I mean, who else would I be?  I'm still the same person when I'm with my conservative family, but I just hold a lot of myself in.  It's like an invisible "fuck" girdle. 

The things I want to say aren't supposed to be arrested.  You're welcome to detest them, or simply disagree.  I love that people are different than me; that's how I learn.  I already learn from myself (I swear!) so others just like me are useless until I plot my small, smart revolution and I need warm bodies to support.

Earlier a friend of mine, Harold, posted the following:  "I have no problem with gay people, I have a problem with ones who hide it and lie so they don't piss off family and friends. True family and friends don't care if you're gay or not."

Of course everyone proceeded to Bible discussion.  I cut to the chase and replied:  

"Harold, to your actual point...I think it's sad that anyone should hide anything about themselves. I know people who have hidden their sexuality, their tattoos, their religious choices, their piercings, their pregnancies, their relations with other races. Hate and fear cause this to happen. I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not. I heard a story the other day of a man who shot and killed his own son because he found out he was gay. He probably called himself a Christian, wtf."

Then I couldn't figure out what to blog about until I started watching Bo Burnham and I can say what I want if he can.  I'm older than him, after all, and this kid also realized that Shakespeare was overrated.
   
As I was watching, I also realized that all these things are connected and I needed to put out there that it's something I've been thinking about.  We all are plenty self-aware, although I'm a fan personally of the unaware sociopath because they can not give a shit what others think and feel*.  I like that I'm learning to balance my give-a-shit.  But if I'm going to make a difference in anything I do, it has to be purely me.   I've been saying forever that I can't wait until people want to burn my books.  Well, I guess it's time for them to start burning their computer screens.  

Turns out, so far, fire doesn't hurt the internet.  Pwned.  And since last week I had Nick look up the history of that word, I can say with confidence, NO WONDER I ALWAYS HATED IT!  I hate typos.  When I have money or I start making cool shit, I will give it to people who find my typos so I can fix them.  (Then I will deny anything was ever wrong so I don't have to give you a damned thing!  Refer to Nelson, above.)

I just needed to write this to remind myself.  And it's sort of another of my many disclaimers and warnings.

Don't forget to enjoy the roast if you're so inclined not to heed them:   http://www.youtube.com/user/StephanieAnn1982?feature=mhee

I'm waiting for someone to tell me how awesome it is before I post part II...

*I believe this is the basis for an upcoming blog